I've misplaced my curling, can you help me?

So here I am, sitting in the 5th largest city in the US, Phoenix. I know roughly 1800 miles North, Curling "March" madness is occurring...without me...across Canada!
So I say to myself...self, being that we are in Phoenix, heavily visited and invested in by Canadians and other cold climate curling fans surely there might be one of five curling majors on TV. Thinking the odds are in my favour, let's see, 300 channels, 1 curling event....c'mon baby!
Click....Spanish TV...
Click....Cooking...
Click....Cooking...
hmmm....seems people like to cook.
Click....Bass fishing in Tennessee...
Click...."and we'll put a happy tree here..."...Ug, painting....
Click, Click, Click...DRAT'S, Qwest 1, Canadian 0.
AHA....let's try Direct TV...being a satellite, maybe increasing my odds to 1100 channels, maybe I can find one, lonely Canadian curling championship. Feeling rejuvenated in my quest, I head on-line to find out what channel Direct TV can provide me what I am looking for.
Mouse click...HBO
Mouse click...Russian TV GUIDE...
Mouse Click...France....really France.
Direct TV 1, Canadian 0.

So why is it, in an electronic age, a transplanted Canadian can't turn on the TV to watch something remarkable, far more interesting than "Kitchen Wars", from somewhere in the same continent! What makes this even funnier, is that for a few extra bucks, I could get all of the Latvia Television I want...ARE WE KIDDING. No to be beat, I finally curled up (no pun) in front of a laptop...found CBC.ca...and watched the games on a 17" monitor that had to buffer every 4 minutes. Not great, but better than nothing.

So Mr. CRTC and Mr FCC, while I appreciate the 8 different soccer channels, 14 Starz channels, and the fan favourite Speed channel, please, oh please, make one Canadian channel, like TSN (Canadian ESPN) available. Heck, if we can't ditch G4 Video game TV, make the CBC events or TSN pay-per-view.

Let's reach out and embrace diversity I say...heck, let's even promote a little, inter-continental appreciation. I love the break out Corner Gas and DaVinci Code...but to cover curling when its happening every weekend for two months. I'm sure we can get that done.

And USCA....thank you for working out the deal with CurlTV.com. Fantastic start...but really, after the Korbel Championships have rocketed NBC ratings up 1100%, not to mention the Olympics, can we not convince NBC to step a little further outside the box? Do curling a favour, send our requests to these service providers or NBC asking for curling on American television. You want Rockstar Curling to take off, get it on after American Idol. You want curling to take off like wildfire, show the Brier finals over two days. Viola....you got yourself a hit..and with a hit, comes money. Sad but lets face facts.

So, Mr CRTC and FCC, you leave me no choice but to go forward and acquire my curling through other sources. When you want my monthly fee's, please let me know.

Sincerely,

The Curling Coyote....